What’s in Our Cup? Behind the Beans

Snark Roast’s Not-So-Secret Recipe for Bold AF Coffee

Let’s spill the beans — literally. At Snark Roast Coffee, we’re not just slapping a logo on some random bag of brown powder and calling it a day. We actually care what’s in your cup. (Shocking, we know.) Because a great roast starts long before it hits your lips — and we don’t do anything halfway. Especially not coffee.

☕ The Beans: No Basic Brews Allowed

We source high-quality, specialty-grade beans because life is too short for sad, flavorless sips. Depending on the roast, we’ve pulled beans from Central America, South America, and Africa — always choosing origins that bring attitude to the party.

Whether you’re drinking our rich-as-hell French roast (Snark Bite) or our smooth Blonde Espresso (Blonde Ambitchin’), we’ve handpicked beans with bold character and flavor that punches back.

🔥 Roasted With Intention (and a Little Bit of Spite)

We roast in small batches with precision and a little bit of pettiness — because no one wants burnt-tasting bean juice. Each roast profile is dialed in to make the most of the bean’s natural flavors — like citrus, chocolate, berry, nuttiness, and occasionally, vengeance.

If it doesn’t make us say “Damn, that’s good,” it doesn’t make it on the menu.

💁‍♀️ What You Won’t Find in Our Coffee

• No artificial flavors pretending to be "vanilla dreams"
• No stale pre-ground sadness from a can
• No weird chemical aftertaste that lingers longer than your ex

Just real beans, roasted right, and brewed fresh for the chaos you call a morning.

🧠 Nerdy But Necessary: Why It Matters

Your taste buds might not speak fluent “single-origin,” but they know when something hits different. Great beans = better flavor, more natural sweetness, smoother espresso, and less bitterness. You’ll feel it in your soul. And probably your productivity.

🌍 Ethically Sourced. Because Duh.

We work with roasters and importers who prioritize fair wages, sustainable practices, and long-term relationships with growers. You can drink our coffee with a clean conscience — even if you're still wearing yesterday's hoodie.

So... Why Snark Roast?

• Because we give a damn.
• Because your caffeine deserves character.
• Because you shouldn’t have to settle for gas station coffee in a world where we exist.

Next time you sip one of our drinks, know this: it’s not just coffee. It’s carefully chosen, brilliantly roasted, and brewed with the kind of energy you only get from a team that’s under-caffeinated, overachieving, and full of sass.