đŽ Whatâs Your Summer Sip? The Snark Roast Coffee Personality Quiz (Without the Quiz)
Look, we all have a go-to drink order. But what if we told you that order says a lot about who you areâand not in a cute horoscope kind of way. Weâre talking feral soda energy, espresso-fueled grudges, and cold brew coping mechanisms.
This summer, skip the actual quiz and let us call you out lovingly based on your drink choice. Here's what your Snark Roast order really says about you:
â If You Order Tiramisassy
Youâre high-functioning chaos in a cute outfit.
Youâve got dessert in your mouth and drama in your calendar. Your toxic trait? Thinking coffee is a meal. Honestly, same.
đ§ If You Order Zero Chill Cold Brew (straight up)
You're not here to play. You're here to function.
Sleep? Never heard of her. Your vibe is âI donât have time for this,â even when you absolutely do.
đ If You Order Petty in Pink
Youâre the friend who sends screenshots and says, âThoughts?â
Bubbly, flirty, and slightly unhingedâyouâre everyoneâs favorite until youâre not. And you like it that way.
đ If You Order Shady Beach
You live for passive-aggressive compliments and sunless tanning mousse.
Youâre the reason the group chat is still entertaining. If vibes were a currency, youâd be a billionaire.
đŤ If You Order Moody Mocha Madness
Youâve cried at least once this week and youâre leaning into it.
Your music taste? Sad and sexy. Your coffee? Strong and frothy. Your therapist? Tired.
đ§ If You Order Sour About It
You have main character energy with a villain origin story.
You bite your straw. You love chaos. And you 100% have a favorite conspiracy theory.
đ If You Order Strawbitchy Energy
Youâre cute, but donât test you.
You say âIâm fineâ with a smile that means youâre one text away from blocking someone. Youâre the glitter and the threat.
đď¸ If You Order Dubai, Felicia
Youâve got expensive taste and no regrets.
You work hard, brunch harder, and ghost people professionally. This drink has luxury energyâand so do you.
đŻ The Point?
Whether youâre a cold brew cult leader, soda sipper with rage issues, or an espresso elitist, weâve got a drink (and a diagnosis) for you.
Swing by Snark Roast Coffee at the East Longmeadow Farmers Market every Saturday from 9AMâ1PM and order your personality in a cup. Or try something totally new and spark a summer identity crisis. We support that.
⨠P.S.
Follow us on Instagram @SnarkRoastCoffee and tag your drink choice. Weâre absolutely judging you⌠but like, in a supportive way.